errrr

I just want to cry. There is no reason for it. I miss my friends.I miss Country. I need a life. I need to move on. Help me!

Men of the Past

My head is a serious jungle of thoughts right now.

Men of The Past

First off let me tell you all, FUCK YOU. Secondly, I want to thank you for royally fucking me over so I can be the person I am today.  Most of you have played on my feelings and my insecurities. You said what needed to be said to get what you wanted out of me and then left just like the one before. I just cant believe I keep falling for it. Maybe its my own fault. Maybe I am actually attracted to douche bags. Like a signal goes off in my brain when I see one of you and it makes my heart grow fonder. I don't know what it is but it has to stop. My heart has officially been broken and I don't even know why I care so damn much. He wasn't even nice to me. He didn't care about me or my feelings. I was just a girl to him. Someone he wouldn't take to meet his friends or family. Someone he didn't want to date. Yeah well I was falling hard for you. God only knows why. And as I write this I know he wont ever read this. but god why does it keep happening to me. Why cant i find a good man. Someone who will love me for me, love me with my insecurities and all. Love me for my sense of humor, or my wittiness. I guess i'm not the one for you, but I will find the one for me. It may not be today or the next day but I will find someone who loves me even if you dont care about me. Somebody will.
-Jenna

And some of you will read this and think "woe is me" but its my fucking blog and i can write whatever I want. if you dont like it dont read it. (im in that kind of mood right now)
thanks.

Just.My.Damn.Luck.

Dammit! Instead of spending Father's Day with my father (who is not speaking to me), my mother, sister her two kids and Haylee and I went to a water park. Haylee wanted to go down the "big slide" with me. So I told her I would. So we climbed the steps carrying our tube(Haylee calls it a tuba lol). There was no line. So we went right up to the slide I sat down on the tube and the lifeguard basically threw Haylee on my lap but while Haylee fell on my lap she also bent my finger back. SOOOOOOOOO now I am pretty sure it is broken. =/ It is just my damn luck to get hurt like that. I seriously have the WORST luck. So right now my finger is being iced and it is also taped to my middle finger so it will not bend. I want to cry. It hurts. I am also sunburned.

Boys suck. I want to move on from Country but I cant stop thinking about him. It makes me sick. ew. anyway im going to bed.

Owie.

Ouch. All I'm saying is shots suck. I mean alcohol shots are okay. But like actual shots hurt. So I'm sore from this shot I got today. 

So do you ever get that feeling someone is mad at you but you cant remember what you did...if you did anything at all. Well I have that feeling right now. And it kinda pisses me off. Since I know I didn't do anything to this particular person.

Father's day is this Sunday. I don't think we are doing anything for it. Since Haylee's dad is a total dead beat and has never met her(whatever I'm not bitter). And my dad isn't speaking to me at the moment. I'm sure Ill get him a card. But who knows when I will see him next.

We still have that damn tree in our back yard and actually we just had one fall in the driveway the other day. It's a damn good thing I worked on Monday otherwise it would have fallen right on my damn car. Which is broke YET again. I just want to scream!!!! Blah.

Well that is all my ramblings for the day.

Dear Self.

Dear 5 year old self- please don't go into aunt Diane and uncle Tim's shed and spray yourself in the face with blue spray paint..it doesn't feel very good..

Dear 7 year old self-please dont go down to uncle Tim's gym and try to pick up a 40 lbs weight. Your 7 year old arms wont be able to hold it and you WILL drop it on your toe and then in turn you WILL break Aunt Diane and Uncle Tim's kitchen table. And this is probably why you have a phobia of going to the gym when your older.

Dear 8 year old self- go to chuch camp. You will make some awesome friends and make amazing memiories with friends that will last a lifetime

Dear 10 year old self- please dont slip and slide on Dad's sheet metal in the yard when its raining..it is very slippery and you will fall and slice your knee open.  You will need 18 stitches and you wont have any feeling in that knee.

Dear 14 year old self-please dont go out on that balcony at the party. You will fall and crush 2 of your vertabreas. And in turn you will forever have back pain. and that sucks.

Dear 16 year old self- get that job at Cabelas. you will meet some pretty awesome people and some pretty miserable ones as well. And you will also grow a tough skin.

Dear 17 year old self- Dont take all those tylenol. No boy is worth your life. And it is no one elses fault. it was your own.

Dear 18 year old self-Go out to all the clubs with your girlfriends. That is the stuff you need to do. Also dont skip so much school. You almost dont graduate because you skipped so much so dont do it.

Dear 20 year old self-Do sleep with Jon. You might think your life is over at the time..but she turns out to be the best thing to ever happen to you and your life.

Dear 21 year old self-dont drink too much on your birthday. You will not remember most of that night and that will scare you.

Dear 23 year old self- Please dont crash and ruin your first car. Because when you first got it you didnt like it...but now you love it and then its ruin because some idiot pulled out in front of you. So drive carefully.

Dear 24 year old self- hey. You have had your heart broken a few times, and I'm sure it wont be the last. But you get stronger. Your daughter is the best thing in your life and you need to worry about her. No one else right now. And good luck with the rest of your life, 24 year old me!

More stuff I hate.

I hate when its dark and someone turns the light on without notice.
I hate speed bumps.
I hate when people talk on the phone while checking out at grocery store/fast food place.
I hate people who honk their horn at other people when they get pissed.
I hate when you run out of toilet paper.
I hate people who swear when there are children around.
I hate people who answer their phone in the movie theather.
I hate mosquito bites.
I hate when people ask me who I'm texting/talking to.
I hate when I tell a funny story and then someone says "I guess you had to be there."
I hate when people don't cover their mouths while sneezing and/or coughing.
I hate when people say "what's up" instead of "Hi."
I hate guys who wear Skinny jeans.
I hate when people ask me for advice and do the opposite of what I tell them.
I hate when someone doesn't really know the lyrics to a song so they make up or mumble the song.
I hate people who wear bluetooths.
I hate when people leave their Christmas lights up all year.
I hate when gas stations charge extra for gas when you pay with a credit card.
I hate when people walk super slow in front of me.
I hate parents who put their kids on leashes.
I hate PeOpLe WhO tYpE LiKe ThIs.
I hate when people pee on the seat and don't wipe it off.
I hate when someone chooses a boyfriend or girlfriend over their friends.
I hate when girls make the "duck face."
I hate when people make fun of Justin Bieber just because they are jealous of his success. :)
I hate when teenagers have no respect for anything or anyone.
I hate when I get sun burnt and then my skin peels.
I hate guys whose arms are overly huge.
I hate when peoples first and last names rhyme.


:)